rubber ducky, you're the one...

you make bathtime lots of fun...

rubber ducky, i'm awfully fond of you!

like my friend, anna cate, i love my ducky! hers is named daphne. i just got this big one for my birthday, so she doesn't have a name yet. any ideas?

is your sister as cool as mine?

after a long, kinda hard day and a little afternoon breakdown this is what i came home to: and this. field chunks are always the smart option. lily & dakota are thankful that they didn't have to go to bed hungry tonight. and these. maddie is thankful she didn't have to go to bed bare-bottomed tonight.
isn't she amazing? what would i do without this girl?

happy birthday day, madison grace

we loved you before we knew you

for nine months we
prayed for you
dreamt about you
couldn’t wait for your arrival

your daddy
whispered your name against mommy’s tummy
laughed when he felt your strong feet kick

your mommy
sang lullabies, hoping you could hear
draped her hand across her belly, longing to hold you

and our love for you grew

april 23rd came and went
you waited
we waited
finally you came

may 4
on that day
our lily bloomed
daddy helped mommy stay calm
family and friends arrived
mommy cried
daddy cried
we cradled you in our arms
and looked into your eyes
and saw your little chest move to the rhythm that had greeted us at every weekly appointment
we thanked God for each tiny toe
and each tiny finger

on that day
God let us experience a miracle and our love for you grew

we buckled you in and brought you home

beautiful
delicate
you

we learned
to interpret cries
to swaddle
to rock
to feed
to stay awake
to stroke your forehead to put you to sleep
that you weren’t so fragile after all
and our love for you grew

days passed quickly
but slowly at the same time

in your first month you

celebrated
vacationed

were bathed

met new family and friends
picnicked
went to the doctor
cruised for dolphins
cheered for pirate baseball
rode a trolley
roadtripped
snuggled

and our love for you grew

summer days passed
into month two
did you know that you went to a summer soiree?

and that you shagged at a beach music concert with daddy?
and that you snored when you slept?
and that your smile made your sweet face even sweeter?

and our love for you grew

sparkles in the sky to celebrate month three

you always observed
noticed
paid close attention
to the green grass in front of the washington monument
to the sea of orange in the orioles stands
to the blue elephant on your bouncy seat
to your black dog and brown dog outside your window
to the dainty china cups at the o’henry tea time

the view was good
but you sensed there was more
so tired of staying put
in one place
so the rolling began
you rolled
and rolled
and rolled

and our love for you grew

salt water and sand
tickled toes and fingers
in your fourth month

naps on the beach
dips in the pool
walks during sunset

this is the life

your little round mouth
gave giggles and coos
music to our ears

in your round little mouth
we discovered 2 teeth
those sneaky little things
came in fast

and our love for you grew

month five brought many new things

new friends born and adopted
grayson and brent and conner
soon after came brooke and mac and mary elizabeth

new foods tasted
rice cereal and sweet potatoes and pears (to name a few)

new sounds made
“aaarrrggghhh” was a favorite (especially during football season)

new places visited
the fair and rockbridge

new daytime routine
aunt neen neen came to keep you

(another) new view
you sat up all by yourself

what a big girl
or big...chicken

and our love for you grew

the sixth month

you were young
you were restless
you took off
crawling
is
the coolest
you were
unstoppable
but

weren’t you just
a swaddled
cuddly
baby yesterday?

and our love for you grew

faster
and
faster
you crawled into month seven

your sweet and funny personality shined
through your expressions and your laugh
nothing sweeter
than the sound of your
giggle
and our love for you grew

more celebrations in month eight
Jesus’ birthday
and daddy’s birthday
colored lights and carols
christmas trees and wrapping paper
your big dark eyes took everything in

reaching for tree branches
reaching for the top of the crib (you pulled yourself up!)
reaching for your first baby doll
reaching up to be held by mommy or daddy

soon you will be
reaching for the stars

and our love for you grew

nine months of life
eight little teeth
seven cheerios on your tray
six books before bedtime (you love to read!)
five big gulps from your sippee cup that you held by yourself
four little friends on our small group weekend in the mountains
three yucky ear infections
two fun snow days
one favorite game…peek-a-boo

and our love for you grew

clapping
and
squealing
all the time

happy girl
bouncing girl
dancing girl

ten months passed
surprisingly quickly
then you surprised us
with a first step on your own
mostly, though, you hold finger tips
and cruise everywhere

and our love for you grew

eleven months already
your first birthday
right around the corner

and around the corner
you chase mommy and daddy
and we chase you
and you laugh
and laugh

now shy at first
you smile bashfully
and fold your little hands
a big grin follows
and sticks around

you were really sick
we were really sad
it broke our hearts to see
your pain

your pain
we pray
will always be comforted by God
you can trust in Him
and not be afraid
he has a plan for your life
a good plan
he loves you so much
and we do too

and our love for you grew

twelve months of life
joyful life
abundant life

life with you
is never dull

life with you
makes us thankful

life with you
reminds us to slow down
and notice the small things
along the way

you love people well
and you are well loved

shades of pink on a Sunday
pastel bonnet and dress
rosy cheeks
cotton candy lips
family and friends and church promised
to raise you in Christ we hear you say
bye
bah
wuh (wuff)
rah

we begin to count
you raise your arms to cheer
we raise our arms to cheer
repeat
and repeat
and repeat

our beautiful birthday girl
one year old today
we blinked
and twelve months passed
we thank God for you today
and every day

you
are
a
gift

with you
life is different
harder
better
you fit our family
perfectly
only you
fill that maddie-shaped hole
in our lives
in our hearts

and our love for you grows

oops i forgot...

I almost forgot the most fun and obnoxious part about being tagged...tagging someone else! So, Charlie, Shannon, Amy J., Heather, & Becca...go on, tell the world your 7 strange things!

On an unrelated, but totally much more important note...tonight is Maddie's Birthday Eve. And today happened to be her first birthday party. It was a pretty fun little shindig. I'll post more on that later.

Sweet birthday dreams, Doodle Bug! Tomorrow you will be One-Year-Old!

hard to believe...

that this tiny baby...

is almost one!

No year has ever passed more quickly than this one!

What a treasure each moment of this first year has been with our Madison Grace!

that thief (& my 7 strange things)

Charlie used to have a little piece of paper taped to his dashboard. "Comparison is the thief of all joy." I think it is a Bill Goans quote. How true is that? Unfortunately, no matter how true I know it is, I still allow that little thief to get in. To my head. To my heart. And just steal away! What a weasel he is! I've always been susceptible to this subtle larceny. "I wish I was as thin as she is." "I wish I could dance like her." "I wish I could be as outgoing as she is." "I wish I was as spiritual as they are." "I wish my house were as beautiful as hers." "I wish I had her discipline." "And her haircut." "Ooh, and her shoes." Seriously!? I even compare my...uh, blogginess to others...wish I could be as consistent as Millie in documenting Maddie's days or as eloquent and witty as Emily or as creative as The Nester or as inspiring and impactful as Nate (I could go on an on--you can visit all my blogging friends from the links on the right). And now, I have a whole new party that the little thief shows up at...uninvited of course...motherhood! Really, I haven't been as bad as I thought I might. I think God's (and others') gentle reminders that every baby and every parent is so different has been helpful. The area where I struggle the most (and it's a lot) is being a working mom when the majority of my friends stay at home. Whew--yep, that's a hard one.

Anyway, now that you know my dark little comparison secret, I feel comfortable enough with you to share some more secrets. Forever ago, I was "tagged" by a friend and my sister. For all you blogosphere newcomers, apparently that means that I have to tell the world (or at least the 8 people that read this on a regular basis) 7 strange things about me. I definitely came up with more than 7, but I will spare you the list of 17. So, I know you've been waiting for it...in no particular order...drumroll please...

1. I like to mash up my food. Actually, only 2 foods. One is Life cereal. It simply must be mashed for me to eat it...well, at least for me to enjoy it. The other is peanut butter and banana. I like it piled high between two pieces of white bread and of course some of it "on the side" as I used to remind my mom when I was little. It's gross, I know, but it sure is tasty! On another food note, I love the combo of chocolate cake and orange juice--mmm-mmm!

2. My top front teeth are kind of fake. My friend Whitney and I share this as a common bond. I think hers are all the way fake, though. Several years ago, I got veneers over my 6 front teeth--think of them as slipcovers for your pearly whites if you will. It was partly due to my bite being affected because they were too short and partly because I wanted them whitened. The end result was quite nice, but it was a pretty traumatic experience. (Note #1: When the dentist tells you not to look in the mirror when you go to the restroom in the middle of a procedure, DON'T DO IT! Note#2: When the dentist tries to give you a temporary dental fixture and tells you that they will hold up fine until the permanent ones are completed, DON'T BELIEVE HIM! This is a lie! Your fake, temporary teeth with crack and crumble in public and you will have to hold them in with denture cream!) I also learned through the whole ordeal, that I have a "gummy smile", as was used to describe my mouth situation by two different dentists. Go ahead, you have my permission to look at my gummy smile the next time you see me.

3. Not only did I have short teeth, but I also have short legs. They are disproportionate to my body which is why it makes finding pants a chore! They've been a barrier not only in fitting rooms, but also in many a dance class. That is why I considered it a most high compliment when one of my teachers in college yelled above the music, "Travel! Use that floor space! Look at Kelly with her short legs go--good girl!" I am afraid Maddie has inherited this gene too. Although I must say the short-leg look is good for her. Just look at her--she sure is cute!

4. I am a bit...how should I say...challenged when it comes to riding a bike (my friend Blair can empathize, as she notes on her blog). I kept my lack of bike-riding skills hidden for a long, long time. Many years of my life I just "preferred to walk" when I received the invitation to bike. I avoided it and my cover was not blown...until we took a group of high school kids for a week-long adventure camp in California. Of all the adventures one could choose to make a part of that week, someone had to choose mountain biking. I've got a word for it and adventure ain't it. Anyway, it's not that I completely did not know how to ride a bike...I learned when I was a kid...sort of. I don't know if I had a bad fall or what, but one day I just decided it was not for me and didn't ride again after that...until my training. Yep, we spent many a late night practicing in empty parking lots before our trip. God bless my husband...my trainer...may you have the same patience teaching Madison as you had with me. Because I will not be subjecting myself to that two-wheel torture again.

5. Remember Language Arts? I was a fan. Not so much of the literature part (although I do love to read), but more of the grammar, spelling, sentence structure, penmanship part. For some reason, just as numbers just make sense to some people, prepositions, periods, and palindromes have always been my forte. I used to love dissecting sentences and bad grammar is a pet peeve of mine (now I am beginning to worry that this sentence is not grammatically correct!).

6. I like to peel things. If paint has dried in the paint tray, I'll be peeling it out the next day. If glue has dribbled down the side of the bottle, I'm on it. And the happiest peeling opportunity--the aftereffect of a bad sunburn. Again, God bless my husband. He has fallen victim to my peeling obsession more than a few times.

7. I am a pseudo-organized person. That is, I would love to say that I am an organized person (as I believe it is most certainly a virtue), but if I did I'd probably kind of lying. The truth is that I long for a life of order and organization. I don't think there's anything wrong with my expectations, but I find myself falling into the "if only" trap too often. "If only I could just get _____ organized, I'd be able to ____________." So, while everything in my house has a place and I am good with a calendar (most of the time), I am far from the organized woman I would like to be. However, those little things that I do manage to get under control--now they are a big deal. I'm talking about cd's-arranged-in-alphabetical-order-by-artist-and-release-date big. Very important--no crucial--to the daily functions of a household. I'm talking clothes-hanging-in-the-closet-according-to-type-of-clothing-then-by-sleeve/pant/skirt-length crucial. I have more of these obsessions, but, alas, I must leave part of me a mystery!

Well, if you have stuck with me to the end of this long post, you are truly my friend. And you deserve a gold star. Or a cookie. Or maybe some chocolate cake and orange juice.

And if you are thinking about playing some cruel joke on me next time you come over by messing with my cd's, don't even try it.

giving her back

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."

~1 Samuel 1:27-28

I've always had a hard time with the story of Abraham and Isaac. And now that I have a child, understanding it has become even harder. God asks a dad to journey with his only little boy up to a mountain top where he is commanded to take his life. Why would our loving God ask such a horrible act from his servant Abraham? The crazy thing is that Abraham was obedient! He did it! (can you sense my self-doubt that I would follow through in the same way?) Well, he didn't really do it...he didn't end up having to...but he was prepared to do it.

So, as we dedicated Madison to the Lord last Sunday, I've thought about this near-tragic event that occured so many years ago. I can imagine an old man whose youth has been rejuvenated by the energy, curiousity, and playfulness of his young son. Their journey may have begun with conversation and maybe some laughter, but I bet with every mile, Abraham's heart becomes heavier. I imagine that, as they neared the place where the sacrifice would be made, Abraham is overcome with weariness--not so much from traveling, but from his torment within. I can imagine his face, the dirt from a three-day journey streaked by tears that flow silently and forcefully when his son asks him,

" Father...the wood and the fire are here...but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

(Gen. 22:7)

Just as God spoke to Abraham that day...as he taught him...as he protected him...God uses this story to speak to and to teach me. I can make sense of this incomprehendible request by knowing that God wants me to know He is sovereign. That He not only sees, but orchestrates the bigger picture. That His requests of us might seem crazy. Irrational. Non-conforming to the world. Like asking us to move to another country where we will be separated from family, friends, and all that is familiar, in order to share Christ with "the nations," as my sister is doing. Or asking us to trust Him admist what might the greatest tragedy imaginable, losing a child, as dear friends of mine experienced recently. Somehow I think Abraham had glimpse of God's big picture. He told this to the guys that were traveling with him,

"We will worship and then we will come back to you."

(Genesis 22:5b, emphasis mine)

Even though he was prepared to do what God had told him to do, I think he believed God would extend His protection and His mercy and that, in some way, God would allow him to return with his son. I am challenged by Abraham to be faithful. obedient. trusting. So, as we dedicate Madison to the Lord, may we do it daily. With faithfulness, obedience, and trust.